


No Straw to Be Found

by Rayearthdudette



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Fingering, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Nipple Play, Not A Happy Ending, Nyx is not in a very good mindset, Rimming, Titus is aware and not very comfortable, Unrequited Love, but only slightly - Freeform, but wants it too much to stop, shameless deus ex machina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 19:46:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20395156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rayearthdudette/pseuds/Rayearthdudette
Summary: Chancellor Izunia feels that General Glauca deserves a reward. He just so happens to catch a moment in time that reveals what that perfect 'reward' may be.





	No Straw to Be Found

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"Are you going to explain yourself now, Chancellor?" General Glauca demands as he's lead into the living room of a well-hidden and well-protected luxurious cabin in the Cleigne hills, perhaps a gift from the Emperor to the Chancellor.

"All in good time, General," the man practically oozes smug deviousness. He spreads out his arms mockingly, "See I had a bit of a disagreement with something Emperor Aldercapt said. He feels as if you failed in your mission, I don't."

There's a growl, hands tightening into fists, "I did. Insomnia may have fallen, it's King dead and the Crystal in Imperial hands, I still failed to keep the Oracle from escaping with the ring."

The Chancellor just laughs, "Piddle posh, General, we can always find her and the ring. May I remind you that we are aware as to where she's headed. There will be opportunities later. Now, as to why I've brought you here," the man bares his teeth in a mockery of a smile, "I felt the need to.. _reward_ you for your service to the Empire. You were the one to bring Lucis to heel after all."

It's subtle and well hidden by the armor the man wears, but Glauca stiffens, his guard brought up in an instant in preparation for any surprises the Chancellor may have for him. "I don't believe you have the kind of clout to give me any sort of 'reward' against the Emperor's wishes, Izunia. Don't you dare pull me into one of your schemes, I'll kill you with my bare hands if you do."

"Such violence, General! No, I do promise that this is purely something I thought you would appreciate after all the work you've put in after _so_ many years." Izunia holds his hand over his heart, feigning hurt.

Glauca studies the other man warily, before nodding curtly, "Fine. Let's see what you have for me. Any funny business and I'll kill you."

Izunia smirks, "Of course, of course, I expected no less of you really." He turns and gestures to one of the doors down the hallway. "Just in there, General. I'll leave you to it."

Glauca narrows his eyes underneath his helmet, suspicious, but heads towards the doorway anyway, alert and aware for any trap that may be sprung on him. Izunia just keeps grinning.

Whatever Glauca had been expecting, it certainly had not been what he gets when he opens the door.

He can't prevent his gasp from escaping fast enough and he hears Izunia start laughing.

"Imagine my surprise when upon looking away from such a _lovely_ firework display, I just so happened to catch a glimpse of your face as you looked upon that particular Kingsglaive at the celebration of the.. _'treaty'_.. and well, you can't help strokes of genius after all. No thanks necessary, you are _most_ welcome General. You have a full week until my excuse starts to wear thin, after that the Emperor will start asking for you," Izunia bows and struts out of the cabin despite Glauca's sharp snarl of, "Izunia! What the fuck is this?!"

Glauca.. no Titus, flexes his hands, the only sign of his distress, and debates on turning back to face what is in the cabin's bedroom, or running after Izunia and skewering him on his sword before he leaves with the dropship.

The sound of muffled curses makes his decision and he slowly turns on his heel. The impact of the image he faces has the same gut wrenching combination of horror, relief and lust as the first time he saw it.

Bound to the bed posts and gagged like the best worst kind of present, is Nyx Ulric. He's naked save for the delicate golden jewelry studded with lapis lazuli draped along his neck and shoulders, his modesty protected only by the thin bed sheet crumpled in his lap. Titus can't help but stare, taking in the delicious curves of muscles usually hidden by the black Kingsglaive garb.

The man had stopped trying to free himself from his confinement when Titus had opened the door to the room, in order to snarl garbled insults through the cloth in his mouth at who he only knows as General Glauca.

..This is the worst kind of torture Titus has ever been subjected to. His desire for Nyx, for something more, had been a dark secret kept concealed for _years_. He had resigned himself to the understanding that it was nothing more than a pipe dream, an impossibility. He was a sleeper agent in enemy territory, holding high positions on each side, the risks steep, there would be no such thing as.. as _love_ for a man like him.

And yet.

And yet he had fallen in love with this stubborn, self-sacrificing, beautiful, _reckless_ man, helpless to the feelings he'd invoke. Even when he'd push it away, bury it deep, ignored the clench of pain in his chest when the wanting became too much and the urge to _touch_ trembled down his spine. Utterly helpless as if trying to swim against the tide when he'd throw himself into the line of fire for anothers' sake, when he'd jostle and joke to lift his fellow soldier's mood.. when he was backlit by fireworks in the sky, the light dancing across his face. Titus ought to punch himself for allowing that one moment of weakness for Ardyn Izunia to exploit.

Here is everything he's ever wanted, just within reach, but not offered freely. The last puzzle piece to complete the picture of all Titus wished for in life.

It's _**agony**_ standing there, wanting to slide into that bed and kiss, bite, lick his way across the handsome man, whisper sweet nothings, hold him close, claim him as Titus' but holding back because all that Nyx would see is the alias of General Glauca performing those actions, _his enemy_. Titus may be many things, but a man that takes pleasures of the flesh without permission is not one of them. Permission of which he'd not be getting from this man, the man he hopelessly, desperately loves, for either of his names, not as they are now and with the fall of Insomnia, perhaps never.

And it _hurts_, he blinks away what he won't admit are tears and does his best to commit to memory everything about how Nyx looks in this moment, gorgeous and defiant.

He goes silent and tense when Titus approaches, eyes sharp, but all Titus does is gently undo the gag to drop it onto the bed. He can't resist, however, running his fingers across Nyx's cheek in a tender caress, that has Nyx's eyes darkening with warning.

Titus continues and starts releasing the bonds on Nyx's left wrist, going against his better judgement that is screaming at him to just leave and find a way to tip off.. _someone_ of Nyx's whereabouts, unwilling even now, after all he's done, to hurt this man needlessly.

Never one to keep his mouth shut, Nyx bares his teeth, "What? Not good enough for the illustrious General Glauca? The Chancellor was pretty obvious that's what was wanted of me. I'm positive the jewelry alone could pay for groceries and housing for a large family for a decade, so you're not being very grateful for your _gift_, **fuckface**."

Titus takes a silent breath and pushes away any number of responses to that and settles on, "Despite what Chancellor Izunia may have led you to believe, I'm not the kind of man that would have sex with an unwilling partner. And you are obviously unwilling," he gets Nyx's hand free and moves to the other side of the bed to work on the other.

Nyx just snorts, "So you're, what? Going to just let me go? Not going to take me prisoner or kill me? Because believe me, if I get my hands on a weapon you can bet I'll kill you, asshole."

"Somehow, I don't doubt that, but yes, I'm just going to let you go fr-"

Nyx's other arm drops free and he lunges at Titus, knocking them back onto the bed, fingers scrabbling at his neck, trying to get his helmet off so as to strangle him. The struggle is brief and ends with Titus pinning Nyx, hands clasped in a punishing grip above his head.

"If you keep this attitude up, I just might take you up on your suggestions," Titus growls, voice deepened greatly by the armor.

"I've got a few more, if you want to hear them; how about you go _**fuck**_ yourself," Nyx strains against Titus' hold, testing it's strength.

"Tempting, but I think you ought to stop and take my _generous_ offer of freedom. It's not going to last long at this rate," Titus is having difficulty focusing with Nyx splayed out underneath him, his desire heightening his awareness of Nyx's body against his own, even through the armor.

Nyx goes limp suddenly and Titus tightens his grip in case it's a ploy to get free and go for his throat again. Nyx winces, but studies the 'face' of the armor, something flickering across his expression Titus can't interpret.

"Why.. are you so adamant about letting me go free? I'm an opportunity you can use to further your agenda for the Em-"

"Let me burst your bubble there, Glaive, you're not high ranking enough to really matter to the Empire," a lie, Nyx is well loved enough by the loyalist Glaives to be used against them, or if set free could lead the army straight to any opposition, "and what information you may have is defunct since the Empire has the Crystal and Insomnia is destroyed," Nyx freezes under him, eyes wide, "I'm going to go with the assumption Izunia kidnapped you after he noticed my.. _admiration_, so you won't have access to any of the information from what little resistance there is," Nyx flinches.

"..What?" He whispers and Titus has to close his eyes in dismay, only now realizing that Nyx knows _nothing_ of the events of the past week.

".. Did Izunia not tell you? No of course he didn't," Titus answers his own question, "Insomnia has fallen and it's King dead. I'm letting you go, Glaive, again because you are of no use to the Empire," lie, lie, lie they _can't_ have him, " and I **refuse** to take from you what you are unwilling to give. I have at least _that_ much honor."

Nyx loses control of his composure and Titus can feel his heart _ache_ with sympathy at the pain his love expresses. He slowly lets go and sits back, the man under him laying motionless as if dead, only the minute rise and fall of his chest as a sign of life.

Titus exhales and stands, "Go home, Glaive. I won't tell you a third time."

He gets to the doorway when a whisper stops him in his tracks, "What can I go home to? It's all gone now."

Those words hit like a fist to the solar plexus, snatching his breath away, the guilt _drowning_ him with it's intensity and there's nothing he can say or do in the face of that. He walks away, pretending to be deaf to the shuddering breaths of Nyx's sobs.

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Titus had gone and run a wide circuit around the cabin until night began to fall, killing anything that had the misfortune to cross his path, searching for the catharsis of channeling his emotions into physical exertion, but found pitifully little. He returns to the cabin, still angry at himself, still full of guilt, still hurting. He doesn't know why he doesn't return to Gralea, he's just torturing himself with what he can't have and seeing Nyx in pain because of _him_, of what he _did_.

There's no sign of Nyx when he opens the front door and he has to struggle with the relief and disappointment that wars in his chest. He turns to the kitchen, thinking to find himself some liquor, if only to numb himself for a short while, when he catches the faint sound of footsteps and the latch of a door creaking. He takes a shaky breath.

"I thought you were going to leave, Glaive."

".. For the moment I've got nowhere to go," _you can come with me_ Titus thinks futilely, heart in his throat, ".. And I've no clothes either," Nyx finishes quietly. "And for the record, my _name_ is Nyx Ulric, asshole. Figured you ought to know at the very _least_ the name of the person you wanted to _fuck_, since you're so _honorable_."

Titus feels his shoulders drop in defeat, "There isn't a single stitch of clothing in the entire damned cabin?"

"Nope." Nyx pops the _p_ aggressively, "Guess the Chancellor figured I wasn't going to need anything. Don't know what he was thinking for when you were **done** with me, maybe wrap the sheets around myself like a toga and pray there isn't a strong breeze, but whatever, it is what it is."

Titus finally turns to face the man and his breath catches. Nyx hadn't bothered to cover himself or take the jewelry off and leans unashamedly naked against the door frame. It's a struggle to keep his eyes on Nyx's face and nothing else and from the look Nyx gives him, he notices, even if he can't see Titus' eyes through the helmet.

"Wow. You really _are_ attracted me, aren't you? I had thought that was just an exaggeration, even when you were saying it yourself in not so many words," Nyx cocks his head, appraising, then pushes away from the wall to _saunter_ over to Titus, who can honest-to-gods feel panic starting to claw up his throat. However, Nyx stops short in front of him, eyes searching for.. something, Titus has no idea as to what, but stays in place, frozen by indecision.

He flinches when Nyx reaches out for his helmet again, hand snapping up to grasp his wrist harshly.

Nyx doesn't try to dislodge the grip, he simply stands serenely with one hand caught and reaches slowly up with his other. This one Titus allows, unsure and wary, but at the ready should Nyx get violent again.

He doesn't.

He just runs his fingers over the smooth surface in a caress that has Titus _so unbelievably angry_ because he _aches_ for that touch on his bare face. He doesn't even realize he tilted his head into it until Nyx huffs an incredulous laugh.

"..Who are you, General?" Nyx asks firmly, somehow catching Titus' eyes through the metal. "This-" he cradles the jaw of the helmet, tipping Titus' head forward, "-is a little beyond just wanting me physically. It was a lie that I am of no use to the Empire, any information is good information and I could have been used to flush out pockets of resistance. Which means you are reluctant to let your fellow countrymen get a hold of me for some reason. So again. **Who are you?**"

..Gods why did he fall for someone who is simultaneously dumb as a box of rocks and sharp as a tack?

He swallows and refuses to answer, but does release Nyx's wrist to cup his cheek with infinite gentleness.

Nyx's breath hitches, eyes widening at the touch and _fuck_, Titus has never wanted to kiss him as desperately as he does now. Instead he reaches out with his unoccupied hand to grab Nyx's hip to pull him closer, grasping for any sort of distraction from this line of questioning.

"..Have you changed your mind then.. Ulric?"

Nyx frowns, eyes flashing with anger and a hint of recognition, "..And now you're trying to distract me from figuring out who you are. I definitely hit too close to home, didn't I?" He pulls away slightly, not far enough to displace Titus' hold, but enough to have room to contemplate the General. He then does something that Titus' is completely caught off guard by; he runs his hands up Titus' arms to loop his own over his shoulders, causing a surprised shudder to zip up Titus' spine.

"Alright, General. We'll have it your way," Nyx swallows dryly and presses himself against the armor, "Let's see if you're any good. Since you've been kind enough to offer, I might as well take advantage."

Titus doesn't try to hide his shocked inhale, mind screaming at him, torn between _he's not truly offering, he's looking to distract you so he can pry for information like the good loyal Glaive he is_ and _godsyespleaseyesyesI'llgiveyoueverythingjustletmehavethisjustthisoncepleaseplease_. He deliberates all of one minute, before he caves under the weight of his desire, fully aware he's being shamefully selfish.

He seizes Nyx by the thighs, dragging him into his arms to carry to bed, dropping him to spill out onto the sheets. He's so fucking gorgeous, the blue and gold glittering across his skin like a pattern of stars and Titus can't breathe, the air in his lungs weighted down as if by lead.

Nyx stretches, preening under Titus' gaze, "Well, are you going to fuck me in full plate mail then?" he sneers.

Titus cants his head to the side, considering, before he crawls over the other man, hands planted above his shoulders. Nyx yelps in offense, "Hey! I was ju-" Titus reaches for the cloth that had been Nyx's gag earlier and holds it up for him to see.

"Oh.. You're going to blindfold me," Nyx takes an unsteady breath and closes his eyes, jaw clenched painfully, but Titus waits until he gets a terse nod in acceptance before using it.

Ever so meticulous, he ties the cloth to his standards, being very carefully considerate of Nyx's hair, holding it gently out of the way. Once he's sure of it's placement, Titus allows the armor to sink into his skin with a grunt. It's terribly underhanded of him, but he's committed to his decision and will see it through.

Full of nerves, he shucks his gloves to the floor, so he can finally, _finally_ touch, starting with a trembling caress up Nyx's chest to frame his jaw, tilting it up to trace his thumbs along the sharp lines and brush a soft kiss to Nyx's unresponsive mouth. Titus does his best to not think of just _why_ Nyx isn't eager and presses another one just as gentle, coaxing him to acknowledge his touch.

Nyx answers with the faintest of movements, his hands twisted tightly in the sheets beneath him. With a sigh, Titus relaxes incrementally, tongue slipping out to trace along Nyx's bottom lip. He works slow with lingering kisses, a slide of tongue that prods deeper and deeper until there's the discovery of another, the careful enticement to bring it into play, and then Titus has to pull away to give them room to breathe. He dives back in and this time Nyx responds with more enthusiasm, tongue flicking across Titus' palate and hands untwisting from sheets to thread through short hair.

Titus can't help the moan that rumbles through his chest and drops down, cautiously settling most of his bulk onto Nyx, whose fingers tighten their grip in Titus' hair. He shifts and drags a hand slowly down Nyx's side, past his thigh to hook under a knee so he can sink into the space between the man's legs.

Both men quiver, the pressure and heat of Titus' awakening member against Nyx bringing to focus the reality of the situation. Titus draws back marginally, willing his helmet to partially materialize, so as to declare in the voice of Glauca, "Last chance to speak up, Ulric. If you don't want this, say so, and I won't continue."

Nyx's mouth twists into a snarl, "I've agreed to this, there's no need to keep confirming my answer. I'm not going to back out, so proceed, _General_."

_Ok,_ Titus thinks shakily, _Ok. I'm doing this,_ and sucks a filthy kiss just under Nyx's ear, that has the man arching into Titus, mouth dropped open on a high-pitched whine of surprised pleasure. The sound shoots straight to his gut, coiling hotly and _yes, gods yes more of that_ nips his ear to get another startled noise.

Nyx tilts his head to give him more room to work and Titus loses himself. For an endless moment all there is, is the taste of Nyx and gold on his lips as he kisses his way along his skin, to the soundtrack of involuntary mewls of helpless pleasure that twists the heat in Titus tighter. He feels Nyx's hands drag across his scalp to drop to his shoulders, bunching the material of his jacket.

He pulls away to hastily discard his top layers, the heavy leather crumpling to the floor with a muffled thump and clink of metal. Nyx takes that as permission to run his hands along the muscles of Titus' shoulders and chest, fingers leaving tingling trails along his scars. Before he can go any lower, Titus catches those hands in his own and in a gentle mockery of earlier, pins them to the bed. He ducks down and licks a stripe along Nyx's jaw, enjoying the scrape of stubble on his tongue, nosing further down to seal his lips over Nyx's adam's apple, who exhales weakly.

Titus threads his fingers with Nyx's, retreating to just _look_ for a moment, then leans in for another deep, slow kiss. Nyx jerks his head away and rolls his hips up against Titus, "You sure know how to make a man wait, General," he snarks breathily.

"Nothing wrong with a little foreplay, Ulric," Titus snips back.

Nyx titters with nervous laughter, "I'd like to orgasm sometime this century, thank you kindly."

Titus doesn't retort, not with words anyhow, he simply bends to flick his tongue delicately across a nipple. Nyx recoils in surprise, gasping harshly and tosses his head back. Titus groans in reply and rolls the other between his fingers, to Nyx's delight, if the way his cock twitches on Titus' thigh is anything to go by. Nyx's freed hands return their hold on Titus' hair and pushes his head insistently into his chest, begging without words for him to continue. He is more than happy to oblige and gets rewarded with breathy whines and stifled moans that slide down his spine to settle in his gut with each flutter of his tongue, each careful bite of his teeth, each gentle tug of his fingers. When he dares to pull away both are tight peaks of rosy red flesh and Nyx's chest is heaving with each breath.

Titus cups those pecs to give the nipples one last tweak, just to see his cock twitch, then drags his hands down to Nyx's hips, following at a slower pace with open mouthed kisses down his stomach. He continues until he feels the heat of Nyx's cock brush ever so lightly along his cheek and veers abruptly to the side to sink a bite into the iliac crest. Nyx spasms, hips jerking up in search of friction, that Titus denies with the unyielding pressure of his hands.

He kisses the mark he made then moves on to drag his stubble along Nyx's sensitive inner thigh, deliberately ignoring the straining erection to suck a line of hickeys down the tender skin. Nyx is far gone enough now, that he's no longer actively repressing the sounds that bubble up past his lips, hands clenching into the sheets, Titus' hair, his _own_ hair, especially when Titus throws his legs over his shoulders to place an obscenely tender kiss to the base of Nyx's dick.

Titus watches, enraptured, as Nyx thrusts futilely against Titus' grip, mouth wrapping around his guttural moans and flushed pink with arousal. He gives Nyx's cock a gentle, _gentle_ stroke just to see his mouth shape another whine.

He only barely manages to catch the reverent, desperate whispers at the tip of his tongue from dripping down his lips, _gods you're so beautiful, I love you so much, please, please stay with me._ Instead he grabs a pillow to fold under Nyx, focusing on getting him comfortable, brushing soft caresses along Nyx's sides, soothing him like one would a chocobo from a fright.

Nyx's heaving pants slow and he begins to _tremble_ under Titus' touch, hands held loosely above his head.

"Stop."

Titus immediately rears back, terrified he's hurt him somehow _he has, he has, he **destroyed** Nyx's home for fuck's sake, you've destroyed **everyth-**NO! not now, notnownotnow_ searching frantically for what he did wrong. He freezes when Nyx reaches out, fingers clawing into his shoulders, "Not like that! Stop being... _stop being so fucking considerate!_ I can't.." Nyx's breath hitches with a sob, "Why are you being so.. so gentle? Why-" Nyx stops himself and yanks Titus atop of him, "Just _fuck_ me!"

Titus sucks in a sharp breath, "Did you expect that I would simply _take_ from you, with no respect for your needs?!"

"_**Yes!**_" Nyx snarls, "I'm not _yours_ to treat like some _lover_. Stop drawing this out _and be done with it_!"

Deep in Titus' chest, his heart finally crumbles under the strain and shatters, the shards carving out his insides and lodging in his throat. He tilts his head back, furiously willing his tears away. He knows Nyx isn't.. isn't _his_, isn't.. going to stay, knows he's going to be the epitome of wrath if and when he learns the truth.. knows he isn't going to _**ever love Titus back**_. 

He _**knows**_.

But he wants to be utterly selfish for just one night, one night to glut himself with what he can't ever have. To have memories that he can tuck away, where he was allowed to _imagine_ that Nyx was his, to try and fill the jagged emptiness of his heart.

He struggles to reign in the throbbing knot of pain that is his entire being and somehow finds the will to choke out, "Too bad for you, Ulric. I relish seeing my partners enjoying themselves. I think you can deal with being treated well," hoping that Nyx can't hear the tremble in his voice. Can't hear the wail of agony building in his chest.

Despite his words, he drags Nyx into a kiss that's a little rougher, bites a bit harder down his body, and aggressively folds Nyx nearly in half to swallow his flagging erection down.

Nyx moans from deep inside his chest, legs flexing in surprise, hands burying into the pillows.

Titus works up to a steady rhythm, palming Nyx's ample backside and fluttering his tongue along the shaft to wring more moans out of the man, trying to distract himself from his heartbreak, to block off those thoughts and numb himself, and only partially succeeds.

He pulls away with a dirty little slurp, panting for breath. Deliberately tender, he sets Nyx onto the bed to finish disrobing and search the nightstand for the lubricant that Izunia no doubt left for them.. the fucking asshole. Nyx merely lays there and Titus spares a brief thought to the fact that he hasn't tried to take the blindfold off despite having his hands free, before shoving it away to focus on pulling him back onto his lap, lube in hand.

He drops the bottle next to Nyx and bends over to taste his lips once more, dragging more kisses down his throat following a now familiar path along his abdomen, flicking his tongue over the head of Nyx's throbbing cock, until he finds his prize. The first tentative lick has Nyx bucking under him like a startled mesmenir, a choked little squeak at the back of his throat. Titus shifts further down, bracing Nyx's thighs apart, getting them comfortable and licks at the tight entrance again, Nyx's gasp echoing in his ears.

He laps softly, occasionally pressing the tip in ever so slightly until Nyx is snapping his hips against Titus' grip for more. The first real breach into Nyx has him shouting curses, toes curling over Titus' back, and then devolves into guttural snarls when Titus picks up the pace, thrusting his tongue deeper with each lick. His thighs snap close and he curls up to clutch at Titus when he enters the first lubed up finger alongside his tongue, stretching and prodding at his insides. Each subsequent finger gets a whining curse, until three are carefully preparing Nyx and rubbing at his prostate.

With every sound Nyx makes, Titus responds with his own, hips driving into the sheets, seeking friction, his desire and adoration tangling together viciously in his gut. Deeming him ready, Titus withdraws to slick his own cock, greedily taking in the sight of the disheveled man underneath him.

Nyx goes utterly still with the first cautious nudge to his entrance, halting Titus in his tracks as he wrestles between lust and concern. The legs around his waist tighten and drag him closer, "No. Do it."

Tired of the rollercoastering mess of emotions, Titus doesn't argue and sinks into Nyx's heat slowly, breath hitching with the intense pleasure. When he's fully sheathed, he pauses, both so Nyx can adjust and so that he can breathe through the onslaught of sensations. It should be impossible to be so wholly content and yet completely bereft all at once, but the absolute _wreck_ that Titus is at the moment is testament to the feat.

Before he manages to regain his equilibrium, Nyx shifts and clenches, and the earth collapses beneath his feet, throwing him into free fall. "Well then, General?" Nyx breathes the challenge, body spread out in provocation.

Titus bites back a sob, everything feels so good, it shouldn't be so _wrong_, and gives into his body's demands. He thrusts slow, searching for the perfect angle for them, until Nyx digs his heels into Titus' back and drives bruises into his arms, his shout ringing in their ears. A careful adjustment of his grip and Titus loses himself once more to bittersweet passion. The sum total of his universe, held in the hollow of Nyx's throat, the arch of his spine, the heat of his body and the taste of him on Titus' lips. The vision of him, laid out and flushed so prettily, just for Titus, just for him, urges him faster, harder. Even though it's all a beautiful lie Titus tells himself.

The ringing in his ears abates enough for him to hear the constant whines and moans and cries for _**more**_ that are punched out of Nyx with each plunge into him. _Begging_ even.

And in silent tandem, Titus realizes he's murmuring, over and over again, _I love you_, mouthing the words against a shoulder, into kiss swollen lips, ghosted across a fluttering pulse. He's burying his love into Nyx's skin, a hopeless venture to reach past that barrier and allowed possession of his heart, a broken plea of desolate adulation. It's all too much and not enough and Titus wants it to never _end_, wants to never have to return to reality.

But the physical form can only go so far, has _gods damned limits_ it can't surpass, and Titus can feel himself approaching his. He reaches to pull Nyx under with him and is surprised when the barest touch throws Nyx off the precipice, throat bared as he _screams_ his release, every muscle tensed in orgasm. There is nothing more to do but follow him, so Titus lets go.

* * *

They slump, boneless, onto the bed, gasping for air and reveling in shared pleasure. As their breaths slow, Titus tests fate by pulling the other man into his arms, curling around him and carelessly throwing a sheet over them. Nyx allows it and actually sinks into the embrace, exhaustion pulling at his movements and after a few minutes Titus can feel him drop into slumber. He lays there for what seems like hours, soaking in his love's presence, daring to lazily stroke fingers along his side and foolishly letting himself believe that he could have more. 

That Lucis and Niflheim don't exist..

That they're both here willingly..

That they could have something of a future..

Before he can descend too deep into the delusion, he forces himself to pull away. To gently take the blindfold off and slip out of the bed. With one last lingering look to the sleeping man, Titus turns away and finally lets the tears fall.

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* * *

* * *

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

He had debated with himself for hours on whether he should face Nyx in the morning or just leave him with all his unanswered questions. He finally settled on taking the painful, but honest, path. He listens attentively for the sounds of the other man waking and hopefully discovering the clothes Titus had, well, stolen in the dead of night. Bracing himself when the bedroom door eventually clicks open.

"....Captain?" Nyx face starts to twist into horrified epiphany.

Titus' throat clicks with his swallow, but he had promised himself he wouldn't hide anymore, "Ulric."

Nyx starts to hyperventilate, "You.. it was _you_ all along?!" He shakes his head rapidly in denial, eyes shiny with unshed tears.

"Ul-Nyx.. please calm down yo-"

"NO! **FUCK. YOU.** H-how could you?! Was everything you taught me a lie?! I can't-" he cuts himself off and fists his hair in his distress. "_Why?!_ ..Why?" Nyx sobs and crumples down the wall, curling into a ball.

Titus stands slowly, the shards of his heart disintegrating to dust, all of his own making, his own mistakes.

"I never lied about working for hearth and home, Nyx. I fought under a man I _loathed_, for my home, for _our_ homes. And I-"

"INSOMNIA WAS MY HOME!" Nyx screams, "And you helped _destroy_ it.." he furiously wipes at his tears. "And what _purpose_, if any, did last night serve?"

Here it is, the time has come and Titus steels himself, tucks his trembling hands behind his back, knowing he's about to destroy what's left of all he holds dear, "Last night was.. was.. it was nothing more than me being selfish," he gets out around the lump in his throat.

"..What?" Nyx whispers.

Titus closes his eyes, trying to hold back his tears, "I was being nothing but selfish last night. I.. I've wanted you.. No.. I've _loved_ you for so long.. I.. I wanted one night with you," he forces himself to look Nyx in the eye, even though it hurts, even as betrayal dawns, "..Just once.. Even if I accomplished that by underhanded means. Even if you thought it was General Glauca in my place." he finishes with a murmur.

"..You _are_ General Glauca," Nyx snarls, "And let me guess you didn't want to reveal who you were because I would have never agreed if I had known the depths of your treachery?" he curls further against the wall. "Even though I was agreeing under shitty circumstances anyways, using you to forget about the destruction of everything I've worked _years_ for?"

Titus nods, shaking with his guilt, and tears slipping free despite his best efforts.

Nyx laughs brokenly, "Well aren't we such a fucking pair. I got my distraction, you got your one fucking night."

"..Nyx I-"

"Don't."

Titus can only stand there, immobilized under the weight of his transgressions, tongue frozen behind his teeth, as Nyx doesn't spare him more than a disgusted glare and stalks out of the cabin.

Out of his life. Any chance for reconciliation going up in flames.

He knew this was going to be the end result. He knew. He did. But it.. it's_devastating_, the world starts to blur and his legs go numb under him, dropping him to the floor, keening softly.

_It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it._

**Author's Note:**

> A drowning man will clutch at a straw.
> 
> Links:  
https://titusdravtos.tumblr.com/post/158187012578/your-orders-are-to-protect-her-not-to-look-not  
https://images.app.goo.gl/97GcPe3gNm22t5rz6  
https://images.app.goo.gl/qMeXDMpPpunfLS197  
https://gemsinstyle.com/products/signature-lapis-lazuli  
https://titusdravtos.tumblr.com/post/160634418428/burning-cities-and-napalm-skies-fifteen-flares


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